So, part two... I finished up part one starting an analysis of Mars in my chart and concluded that it was in quite bad shape, despite being exalted in Capricorn. Generally, Mars gets a bit of a bad rap in people's charts as he is considered to be 'malefic' (along with Saturn and Pluto). This means that these planets can bestow destructive significations in an astrological chart. Especially when they are in an adverse aspect to each other, i.e. Mars square Pluto.
My Mars makes two good aspects in my chart: it trines Chiron and quintiles my Midheaven. Chiron is a comet that orbits our Sun somewhere between Saturn and Uranus, but it has also been labelled a dwarf planet that has as much influence astrologically as Pluto. Some astrologers also believe Chiron is the natural ruler of Virgo (although some say that is actually Vulcan... yes, apparently we have a Vulcan in our solar system, not just in the Star Trek universe ;)). I started taking a real interest in Chiron when I found out it squared my nodes. Ok... I'm going to have to go back before I go forward. So, I'm going to have to start talking about the nodes to finish this piece about Mars.
I've read the work of astrologers who claim that the nodes is the first thing they look at in a person's birthchart. That's how important the nodes are generally regarded in astrology. My own experiences would converge with the weight of this importance. I have a Leo North Node and, thus, an Aquarius South Node. My North Node (NN) is also in my 1st house, and my South Node (SN) in the 7th house. More conventional explanations of these placements would be that I had past lives that were devoted to communities, academia, humanitarianism, relationships, groups, friendships and activism. These are skills that I have developed over many lifetimes and I am (supposedly) good at these. So, this lifetime is about leaving those skills behind and looking to develop your NN instead. So, this lifetime is about cultivating creativity, a healthy ego, love affairs, working with children, self-development, leadership and independence.
Yet, I've never really found the nodes to be this cut and dry (or so in polarity). I started hearing alarm bells when I read that, as children, we tend to be more like our SNs and then go into NN territory after our first Saturn Return (between 28 and 31 years old). I had almost the opposite happen. I have a full 5th house (Venus, Uranus, Vertex, Mercury, Neptune and the Sun live there) so I found being Leo-esque was quite natural. I was all about acting, singing, writing, fantasy and just being the star of my own show when I was a child (an only child to boot). At the tail end of my Saturn Return I ended up taking a job in academia and starting a PhD in community developent. Which is, arguably, more SN territory. So, is my path in this lifetime actually a SN path and was I being that person who was blindly refusing to move out of my SN comfort zone (even though I was actively embracing my NN up until my 20s)?
Then I learned about squares to the nodes. I have Chiron, in my 11th house, squaring both my NN and SN. This aspect is often referred to as a 'skipped step'. It means that you are carrying over unresolved issues from previous lives - involving the nodes - to deal with in this lifetime. It can be something you willfully ignored, to something that you just didn't have the time to iron out. It involves Chiron and SN lessons. So, you have to 'solve' these issues before you can really get to walking your NN path in this lifetime.
Chiron in my chart was last in conjunction with the SN of my chart (before I was born - Chiron last 'contacted' the SN). So, the skipped step involves my SN. Thus, I didn't quite 'master' the lessons of an Aquarius SN in the 7th house. I skipped a step. Chiron helps to unpack this. Chiron is the wounded healer in our chart. He heals others, but his own hurt may never be healed. It can only be soothed - and more insight given into the nature of the wound - through healing others.
It indicates where shame is located in the native. When triggered, Chiron can be associated with failure and lack of confidence. It is the monkey on our back we just can't shake off. We have to try and overcome - or at least accept - the shame and fear we experience... even though it really hurts. The 11th house is the domain of Aquarius - which is also the sign of my SN. Typically, the native would have experienced a serious wound - or even trauma - in the areas of friendships, groups and/or communities in a previous life. It is usually associated with betrayal and/or rejection. This is a person who could have been a core member of a group, community or even an academic / humanitrian organisation and was betrayed and/or shut out from it, leaving a deep wound. This brings inadequacy, feelings of low self-worth and an uncomfortability about 'belonging' into this lifetime. Normally, a native with this placement will experience a similar betrayal / rejection in their childhood years which will 'activate' this complex and trigger the healing to begin through setting into motion a sequence of events where the native will replay this over and over until the wound heals.
This lack of safety within groups and communities can often lead to problems asserting individuality in the native (which is a trait that both Aquarians and Leos share although they can express it in different ways). This can result in a reluctance in expressing original ideas in fear of not being accepted by others, and a (karmic) tendency to be alienated and / or scapegoated when these ideas are expressed. As a result, this placement can force the native to rely more on themselves, and pull away from groups / communities that do not allow the native to exercise their own personal power. Which, interestingly enough, is the path of those who have their NN in the 1st house (which I do). So, healing comes when this native stays true to their own views, even when their peers or friends don't back them. It's about feeling the pain of betrayal, understanding what it means, and moving forward from it more confident and secure.
I have to say, I've had more than my (karmic?) fair share of this. I wouldn't say I was a wholly 'original' thinker, but I do tend to start focusing on things before it comes mainstream. For example, in 2006 I was advocating for sustainable education and a more holistic / interconnected view when looking youth work, community development and adult education. I remember presenting this to my peers and getting absolutely incredulous looks, sniggers and attempts at rejection. I ended up writing it as an essay and was told it was good but that I would be better focusing on something else that was more fashionable at the time. I held the line and, years later, I turned out to be on the ball. This has happened in a number of other occassions.
So, it's like I had to go back to Chiron and my SN to gain the confidence and belief in my own self and sense of individuality. I had to experience the same hurt over and over again to lessen its hold over me. I have realised that I have a choice: I can behave childlishly and reject the group and / or community that disagrees with me, or I can ride it out by staying true to myself and holding my ground - not being scared of getting wounded in the process. Without the wounding, there is no healing. Running and / or giving up just offers fewer opportunities for true self awareness... and an increased likelihood you will play out the same drama wherever you run.
On top of this, I have Chiron in the sign of Taurus. Friendships, groups and communities give me a (false?) feeling of safety. Collectively, we have more safety, security, money, possessions, abundance and love. There is a lack within Chiron in Taurus and a fear that the individual without all of these is not enough. Chiron in Taurus can overly-rely on these issues and place too much importance on them. Ihis placement can also result in some deep-rooted body insecurity. I have the Moon in Taurus as well, opposite Pluto, and food and the body can become weapons in the war between them already. Chiron in Taurus can reject the body, and become fanatical about fasting or spiritual paths that have particular diets or regimes as foundational. Again, the lesson is inner strength and inner self-worth that is not dependent on material factors. It doesn't matter if your body is giving up, and it doesn't matter if you have no money. The worth is inside of you. Who you are is worthy enough. In following this path Chiron in Taurus begins to develop a deeper understanding of abundance and creativity. That comes from inside, not outside.
So, you have to sort all this out before you can truly embark on your NN if you have squares to both nodes from Chiron. By going 'back' into academia, and community development, in this lifetime, it is to give me the tools to believe in my own views and individuality, even though I will consistently meet resistance. Because your SN is what you have kind-of perfected in a previous life - you got these skills. You've just got some pain, wounds and a little bit of trauma. Work on that before you try and go down the NN path which will take you out of your comfort zone. It's true... I gave up my NN path in my 20s because I lacked sufficient confidence and belief in myself. So, the more I get better at healing Chiron and my SN, the more I am laying the appropriate foundations for my NN path. To the point where I am confident in my own abilities, body, sense of self and spirituality. There has been a more concerted turn towards my NN in recent years. But, it's different now due to the confidence I have gained through Chiron and re-visiting my SN. At some point my SN path will cease to exist. But, until then, I will user its power to funnel into my NN. They are working as a hybrid for now; yet I know it won't be long before my NN path takes the lead, and will eventually run off, merrily, on its own.
So... Mars trine Chiron. My wounds inspire others to have confidence in me and my abilities. I wear my scars courageously, and they don't appear to discourage my optimism and enthusiasm. Any challenge I receive, I rise to. This gives my (partially) dehabilitated Mars some fire - especially when I put my energies into helping others. For me, being actively involved in the healing processes of others helps to resolve my repressed anger issues (which also plagues a Mars-Pluto native like myself). It gives the Mars native the power to go after what they truly want, even if it pisses other people off. It's about knowing the right measure of force to use in different situations. This can be hard when Mars is intercepted and is square Pluto. As already discussed, it can come across as quite weak at asserting boundaries and then come out all at once; with an non-proportionate amount of the native's unexpressed rage.
But, this is a good aspect - the natives gets more than their fair share of luck and breaks if they go after what they want with all they have (but it's working out what they want that can be the killer with this aspect), and promise to heal others (and themselves) in the process. These natives can accept danger, discomfort and challenge by seeing the higher purpose in it. They intuitively feel out wounded spirits - especially those with wounds to their masculine identity. I actually ended up doing this in a country in Central America - working with farmers and working class community men (and women) on machisimo. Apparently I was very (surprisingly) respectful.
The other positive aspect is that Mars quintiles my Midheaven. Sometimes people really have to push to the front to be seen in their career. Or make some really loud noises - you all know the type. It can also involve ass-kissing. Mars quintile Midheaven peeps don't have to do any of that - normally, they are noticed and they earn naturally earn the respect and recognition they need due to their hard work ethic. It's also a lucky aspect, and denotes someone who knows instinctively how to give off a positive self-image, and build up a good reputation. This is due to a strong sense of self and an image of being a powerhouse of energy. Supervisors and managers can feel comfortable giving tasks to this native as they know they will be done, and done well. It also denotes a talent in working effectively through travel, charity in the public eye. If these people take the lead, others will follow.
And then there's Pluto. I've spoken at length about Pluto already, but there are still some discussions to be had about my second-in-command (sorry Sun, you're third even though you think you are first). Pluto makes the most aspects to other planets and points in my chart - it sextiles my Sagittarius stellium (Mercury, Vertex, Sun and Neptune), is in its own stellium (with Juno and Black Moon Lilith), opposes my Moon, squares my Ascendant and Mars, and quintiles my NN. Pluto quintiles my NN is interesting, as it resonates with my Chiron - Mars aspect. It denotes someone who may have been bullied or beaten down in previous lives and was unable to achieve their goals as a result of this (sound familiar in the discussions of my SN and Chiron?). Still, this aspect quadruples determination, stamina and willpower to help the native learn to handle power, control and physical strength effectively. This is the true aspect of a politician and/or psychologist, as it gives the native an instinctive understanding of people and society, and how to transform both together. But, the native must guard against using this power mainpulatively. As what you give out will come back three times fold.
Pluto sextile my Sagittarius stellium turns everything up to 11. Everything is dramatic and loud already, but this just takes it to another level. Pluto helps with communication and ensures the native is able to transmit thoughts and feelings to others clearly and fluently. There is also a commitment to working towards causes that fight to tackle social injustice, and a compulsion to side with the underdog in such fights. It also makes the native a good researcher; able to see 'hidden' patterns in data, and a deep thinker. This is also a combination that can get people to reveal their deepest and darkests without making them feel exposed. Thus, it is an aspect of a good psychologist and/or counsellor. This native understands the power of self-transformation. They are themselves the phoenix who has risen from he ashes many times. They also instinctively understand collective archetypes that generations carry, and can work with them productively in healing work.
Finally, I have a t-square aspect involving the Moon, Pluto and Ascendant. It's not a 'real' t-square as the Ascendant is a point. But, when a planet is transiting my Ascendant, the t-square lights-up. Pluto square Ascendant means someone who can come across very strong to the point of aggressiveness. There is something primal about these natives, a hidden aggression or drive under the surface that some people are just tuned into. As a result, people can be very drawn to this energy, especially people with strong a strong - or even dehabilitated - Pluto in their chart. There is also an intense need for privacy with this aspect. This is compunded with the square from the Moon. This square can make the native appear overly sensitive, moody and protective. Again, that need for privacy. This native can be prone to changeable moods and feeling acutely the emotions of others, but not always at the correct frequency. This aspect looks to develop emotional security to more adequately understand their own emotions and the feelings of others. There can be a real tension here between Will and Identity. Reaching out to the world can make the native feel uncomfortable and it is a consistent issue they have to work toards.
There are some other aspects I haven't discussed, i.e. my Jupiter - Saturn conjunction in my 4th house. However, I have covered the balancing act of my nodes which is also exemplified by this conjunction (the NN is ruled by Jupiter and the SN by Saturn) - my NN and SN are working together in this life, I must walk the two paths simultaneously. But, this has definitely been a useful exercise. There are not any aspects or planets in my chart that do not have friends or support. Even my Mars gets some loving from Chiron. I can also see why I have Mars square Pluto. It's the survivor aspect. To get on to that NN path with the confidence I need to have, I need this aspect. If I didn't have it, I probably would have given up - likely some of the gaslighting I have experienced would have stuck. It hasn't stuck and it won't stick because of these aspects.
It's been a long time since I've looked at my birth chart holisitically like this. Ironically, I was complaining to a friend of mine recently that I felt I had been losing my astrology knowledge because I didn't use it in my 30s like I did in my 20s. Reading through what I've just written here, I actually know more now than I ever did. Life experience has activated the dormant knowledge I already had. Which makes this even more exciting.
Time to read Part Two of Liz Greene's book which focuses specifically on Chiron and Saturn. I wonder if I will have anything else to add after finishing this book...
