I've recently been reading Liz Greene's (1996) Barriers and Boundaries: The Horoscope and the Defences of the Personality. I'm just over half way through and what Greene recommends us all to do - for a variety of different reasons - is to sit down with our astrological birthchart and work out who are friends and enemies in our charts. Doing this will give significant insight into what are your astrological defence mechanisms, how they manifest, and how they can spiral out of control and seriously upset your life and your relationships.
I have been interested in astrology since I was about 10 years old. It came from my interest in astronomy which started when I was about 7. I was fascinated by our solar system and the planets. As a child, Saturn was my favourite - those beautiful icy rings were a marvel to behold. I started asking questions as to why the planets were called those names - Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. That they were Gods that could shape your life. Then I started making the connections between these planets and the horoscopes in the daily newspapers. I bought my first astrology book with my pocket money when I was 10 years old - Old Moore's Predictions for Sagittarius that year. I was hooked.
Astrology has been a constant passion in my life. It flavours how I see the world, interpret events, and see myself. Sometimes I am completely devoted to it. Like in 2005 when I bought the Kepler software package and joined various astrology forums. Other times it has been less prevalent in my life - usually when I am travelling and/or studying something else. But, I always go back to it. It is because it frequently has something new to teach me. I seem to learn these lessons at just the right time; likely when I am ready for them.
So, I am going back to basics on this monumentous day - the Winter Solstice 2020 with a Jupiter and Saturn conjunction at 0 degrees Aquarius. Both Jupiter and Saturn have just creeped on to my Descendant which makes it even more interesting. This new phase of my life is going to be much more focused on relationships. So, what can I learn from my chart about my own emotional defences, and how can I use this knowledge to heal and form more positive, and equal, relationships (romantic, platonic and professional)?
The good news is that I have a fairly balanced chart, element wise (although fire is dominant). I have planets in each of the four elements. This is good. It means I am not likely to 'search' for an element in myself through others. I have the building blocks inside of me to develop the different aspects of my personality. Transits will trigger all elements to grow and develop quite naturally.
But, I have a very fiery exterior. My sun is at 26 degrees Sagittarius which makes an exact conjunction to the Galactic Centre. It is a powerful sun. It is also my chart ruler as I have 0 degrees Leo Rising. My Sun is also in a stellium with Neptune, Mercury and Vertex. So, it is conjunct these planets / points and blends within itself their characteristics. At heart, I am a theatrical actress and a communicator/writer who believes in / is developing a spritual purpose - exemplified by the fact that this stellium is also in my 5th house; again, ruled by the Sun. This is a super strong Sun. It is also well aspected. In addition to being in a powerful stellium, it sextiles my Pluto and trines my Moon (more on both of these later).
It has some not-so-nice aspects though. It inconjuncts my Ascendant - despite Leo and Sagittarius being fellow fire signs thus compatible, my social mask and my life 'essence' (Sun) don't always understand each other. They speak a similar language (fire) but there is a bit of a clash there. It's like my essence doesn't really know what to do with my ego. So, it rejects it and shuts it out sometimes only to realise that it's actually a fundamental part of itself thus must allow it back in. I would say I do fight the more 'showy' part of myself. I can fight the Leo in me, the narcissism and basic narcissistic needs, and try and be more philosophical, spiritual and utilitarian - too much of an ego is never a good thing. But, my Sun is the Lord of its own house - the 5th house is the house of Leo. The ego cannot be repressed. Doing so will actually injure me and the cohesion of my Self. My purpose here is to let both sides express themselves and recognise I can behave contradictorily at times. And that my narcissistic needs are ok, as long as I don't ride roughshod over other people's needs (unless other people's needs are themselves overly narcissistic). So... a clunk more than a clash. They're friends, but not besties. They wouldn't phone each other up out-of-the-blue just to chat.
More evolutionary astrology has a different definition of this aspect. In fact, my Sun and my Ascendant also qualify as forming a biquintile aspect. This is also karmic aspect but is more positive and denotes real talent in a chart. Whilst the Sun will be repressed under the inconjunct, the biquintile encourages the Sun to show its true Self - its fundamental nature - to the world and to refuse to deceive or hide itself due to societal standards. So, this conflict is actually a gift. The more I wrestle with, and resolve, the inconjunct aspect, the more I will facilitate my gift here to come more into focus, which is a unique form of self-expression that channels the powers of the Sun and the Ascendant together.
Confidence is key here. It suggests that early conditioning will 'force' the Sun individual to repress their Sun, usually due to environments that do not encourage the Sun-natives 'true' nature. So, the person will learn to hide the Sun when needed, and keep up the mask to avoid blows to precarious levels of self-confidence. But, it's very hard to keep your Sun down, especially when it is your chart ruler and Lord of its own house. With gaining more life experience and confidence, the biquintile becomes the dominant aspect. The tension will always be there, but it will ease with the passing of time.
My Sun also squares my Midheaven. I don't compromise my sense of Self well in my career. I will not toe the company line if it clashes with my own values and principles. This, more often than not, leads to conflict with authority figures. And with my Midheaven being at 0 degrees Aries, these clashes can vidually illustrate the full force of elemental fire. I know I can come across as a complete know-it-all and, as a result, I will attract people who are very dominant and will want to put my in my 'place' (my two Martian parents who couldn't even do that but that's another story). The key here is understanding the effect you have on other people, especially in work environments. I would do best self-employed and my own boss. But, if that can't happen, I have to adapt. As the Sun is in Sag which is the same element as Aries, the adaptation usually doesn't take too much. I usually find a fiery ally (or two) who respects my nerve and tries to protect me in my workspaces. I just need to watch out and not fight fire with fire (easier said than done when you have as much fire as I do in my chart) when, sometimes, stepping back and being objective is the best thing you can do.
So, my Sun is relatively happy. The conjunction with Neptune can be very tricky; but it's happy. My Moon is not-so-happy. It is in the 10th house which is not a good house for it to live in. It's also a singleton and the most 'visible' planet - the sign on the Midheaven and any planets in that house are most visible to the public. It's a Taurus Moon as well which doesn't really like so much limelight on it. It just wants to cook, walk in nature, sing and play the guitar. But, it does balance out the Aries Midheaven dynamo. I can give off a slightly 'mothering', and emotionally placid, vibe in the house of career. It explains why people approach me for advice, and to disclose, quite frequently.
Trines to Sun and Neptune do support my Moon - these can give me confidence in my own emotional stamina and resilience when I most need it. I also have a very rich inner world (my metaphorical cave) which I can enter to replenish at will. Having a Taurus Moon is always a steading influence - the Moon is exalted in Taurus. But... it opposes my Pluto in the 4th house, which is conjunct both Black Moon Lilith and Juno. Yes, you read that correctly. I have Pluto, Black Moon Lilith and Juno conjunct (and tightly conjunct at that). In the 4th house (!!!) This stellium opposes my Moon. Quite frankly, it's been frightful living with, and through, this. Pluto, Lilith and Juno are all having it out about the raw side of sexuality and femininity - about sending a fuck-you sign to society. My Taurus Moon in the 10th house is all about tradition is very conservative. So, on the surface I look very conservative and traditional (at least when it comes to sexuality and femininity) but scratch the surface and you will find the opposite is the case. We tend to hide what is in the 4th house - bury it in our psyche and unconscious - the 10th house is the most public, the 4th is the most private. So, we attract people to us who bring these unconscious aspects out in us. I will write a book one day about the 'relationships' I have been involved in, the people who have seemed to be obsessed with me, and who I, in turn, have been obsessed with. With hindsight, it has very much been flavoured with this stellium (and this is not even taking into consideration the Queen of my chart - Venus in Scorpio conjunct Uranus... that will come later too).
It's not a happy stellium. Lilith will not be controlled and both Pluto and Juno need to be in control. And it's in the sign of Libra which creates a compulsion in the psyche - how to form, and maintain, 'equal' relationships; especially where power is concerned. Pluto and Juno manipulate and orchestrate circumstances where the partner is dependant on them. Lilith sees through all this, fucks off and then burns bridges; never to return. Relationships become tainted with themes of control and expulsion, and become cyclical dramas until crucial lessons are learned. There is a real need here to expunge oneself from conventional romantic and sexual relationships. An inevitable manifestation of this aspect is long-term celibacy - the need to divorce power and sex from intimate relationships. Or compartmentalisation - BDSM encounters with a more vanilla conventional relationships separated in the psyche. But, this stellium will always seep over - especially when in opposition to your basic emotional nature, the Moon... it's what you need.
But, this isn't just about opposite sex relationships. Pluto - Lilith - Juno opposite the Moon also brings with it difficult relationships with women. My chart is a living embodiment of the perennial fight within women regarding appearing 'good', 'nurturing' and 'conservative' in public but being an absolute demon/witch/whore in private. The Madonna-Whore complex that is still ever-present in today's society through patriarchy and organised religion. My chart is a call to previous times where women could be both and it was, arguably, accepted. Where they didn't 'need' to be married and could have many relationships that served different functions. Where designations of inferiority, as a result of these decisions, weren't so marked. Lilith just wont permit Juno and Pluto to have their unbalanced marriages, and their futile quests to control the partner. She awakens both and warns the 10th house Taurus Moon not to fall into the 'security trap' of marriage either. It's why Lilith has been demonised in patriarchal societies, but revered in feminist literature. The truth is - Lilith is a complicated lady. She's never easy to own in your chart. Some people can go through their lives never knowing her really. She usually ends up in that invisible sack we all carry around with all the disowned aspects of ourselves that we project onto others. Not a chance when she's as prominent as she is in my chart!!!
And the Queen of my chart supports this - fashioned also with her tight conjunction to Uranus. I have a mutual reception in my chart - when two planets are in the other one's sign and they share command of the chart; even eclipsing the chart ruler. Venus in Scorpio and Pluto in Libra. Pluto is not a personal (dwarf) planet, so he instead supports his Queen. And what a Queen I have. Not only is she in the sign of Scorpio which is considered to be detrimental, she is at 29 degrees Scorpio which is considered an Anaretic degree. It is a transitionary degree, usually when a person is finishing off previous karma to move into a new cycle of life. With Venus here, it indicates the completion of one way of doing relationships and starting another (does this echo the previous paragraph?). The Scorpion becomes the Snake and/or the Snake become the Eagle /Phoenix. Uranus also conjuncts this Underworld Queen in the 5th house which is the domain of love affairs and creativity. Uranus makes this Venus SHOCKING. And it should when you look at the who's who of women who have aspects between Venus and Uranus. Here are the more well-known examples:
Elizabeth Taylor, Angelina Jolie, Miley Cyrus, Susan Sarandon, Sharon Stone, Linda Lovelace, Ellen Degeneres and Princess Diana.
Each of these women has rocked the (patriarchal) establishment in some way through their emodiments of what it is to be female, and also about female sexuality. They all ooze sexuality, but in a way that has been perceived as against convention - or just quite SHOCKING. Elsa Elsa states that Venus-Uranus women can seem 'alarmingly Lilith-like but they are not fueled by the pure rage that often drives our Lilith. They're more indigo, detached and electric.' We are honed towards life and relationships in a way that screams authenticity, no matter the consequences.
Pluto works well with this Queen. He wants to domineer her, really; but she fuels his power and let's him be second-in-command; the power behind the throne, so-to-speak. Lilith wants to hate her - Venus and Lilith are very different female archetypes. But, of all the signs, Lilith is most at home in Scorpio. And my Venus is at her detriment in Scorpio - she is not sugar and spice and all things nice. Venus usually doesn't like too much intensity. As long as she looks good, her surroundings are pleasant and she can attract people easily to her, she is happy. Venus in Scorpio couldn't give two fucks about being pleasant or attracting non-descript people for company. She is Juliet who would rather drink poison than be without her soulmate and forced to marry someone she didn't love. She doesn't know how to love 'a little'. She either does all-consumingly or she absconds from the game. Unsurprisingly, my Queen/Venus and Lilith are good friends.
And my Queen has unexpected support from Ceres - also known as Dementer. Anyone with basic knowledge of mythology would know that Aphrodite (also known as Venus) was responsible for Hades (Pluto) falling in 'love' with Persephone. Thus, Ceres and Venus have bad blood and don't like each other. Yet, they make a trine aspect in my chart. This is interesting as Ceres is more like the Moon is a woman's chart - she is associated with the Earth Mother and rules over cooking, food, nutrition, animals and nurturing. Having Ceres in Cancer equals having a strong mother or a strong mother figure. It imprints a very strong female archetype in the psyche - it encourages natives to care and nurture others by giving them emotional support, and also offers refuge and security. In the 12th house, Ceres also likes to heal. She also is pushed to care for pets and animals and can provide unconditional love for them. So, she instinctively likes my Moon, which my Venus has a tempestuous relationship with.
I have an inconjunct / quincunx aspect between my Moon and Venus. Lots of female energies and archetypes in my chart that are all fighting for recognition. It's not easy being a woman - especially a woman with my chart! Moon inconjunct Venus creates an imalance between the native's need for emotional support and its deisres when looking for love. It is very hard for this native to satisfy needs with wants - they usually look very different and, on the surface, unreconciable! This often creates circumstances for a woman where she is forced to compartmentalise - she gets her emotional support from sources different from those she receives romantic love. This is a women who has a small coven of very close besties which she keeps separate from her romantic relationships. With my Moon in the 10th house which is the most visible house in my chart - these besties are more 'seen' than romantic relationships. This can create a breeding ground for resentment, especially for romantic / sexual partners who can feel shut out emotionally.
Ceres is key here to integrating Moon and Venus energies more harmoniously. For this native, nurturing and taking care of partners comes naturally. In fact, partners can get quite addicted to this energy - it's a very maternal energy and it means that you can very easily fit into the mother archetype that men carry. So, it softens my Venus in Scorpio energy. I may stand dressed as a dominatrix and willingly give you the pain you crave, but I'm also equally as likely to bake you a cake afterwards and tenderly put some aloe vera into your wounds. Madonna-Whore once again. Ceres is also conjunct my Ascendant, which means I am also tasked to help other women understand the wisdom of female archetypes and how to connect to them. I embody this struggle vividly.
Which is useful as my Mars is so debilitated in my chart it's not funny. Ok, let's start with the good - my Mars is in Capricorn and it is exalted in that sign. It's a cardinal and ambitious Mars. It can easily delay immediate gratification for long-term gratification - it's not likely to get itself into short-term illicit affairs when it has its eyes on a real prize. It. Will. Wait. This is also its course of action career-wise. It will make career choices that will flummox others; perhaps cutting down hours to do more voluntary work, or jumping into a role with a less prestigious title but with an organisation that has a good record of developing its staff better. Mars has weighed this up and will end up where it wants to be quicker due to making such choices. It also does not run at signs of resistance. In fact, it thrives off it. This is the Mars sign most capable of hard work, and the Mars sign most likely to become a workaholic. Especially in the 6th house, where my Mars lives. It is only satisfied with perfection and / or the highest of standards. It is that Mars sign to tell co-workers to stop judging the Mars native by their own poor standards. Mars is operating at a higher level, thank you very much. So, up your standards or shut up / get out. Eeeek.
It is also a health-a-holic. They make their physical health and wellbeing a top priority. In fact, to balance workaholic and perfectionist tendencies at work (which, let's face it, can make them a tyrant), this Mars needs competitive sports and/or the gym. It is a perfect release for it. Especially when I tell you one of the few aspects it makes it my chart (foroding drum roll please...). It's square Pluto.
First of all, I would like to state that one of my all-time idols has Mars square Pluto natally... Bruce Lee. It's also one of his most talked about aspects. It's been lovingly named 'The Sexy Predator'. Muhammed Ali also had this aspect. Remember I talked about Pluto and Juno needing to control others? Mars and Pluto in aspect exemplifies this even more. These natives must learn self-control, especially with the square aspect. Or all Hell can break loose. It is a powerhouse aspect. These natives cannot denty nor repress instinctual urges. They must find releases for them. They learned as children that they could really hurt themselves, and others, by doing this. Pressure builds up in them like a pressure cooker. Physical activity is a MUST for this aspect. If channelled correctly, it could make them a formiddable force in this activity. If channelled incorrectly, it can make them a tyrant, a bully and obsessed with sexual release.
As a kid I must have somehow sensed all this. I took up karate when I was 6 years old and started playing the drums when I hit adolescence. These two things probably saved me in a lot of ways.
But, this Mars is intercepted. Although Mars is in my 6th house, it is in Capricorn which is an intercepted sign in my chart. It means it is slightly weaker and struggles to assert itself with the weight of Pluto. It can be hard identifying with your own forceful nature. There can be a tendency to project this on to other people in your life, and accuse them of controlling you (very Pluto). There can be a tendency to abscond ambition and refuse to take ownership of what you really want - projecting it on to 'fate', 'life' or 'karma'. However, there is also a silver lining. Intercepted Mars acts with less impulse and exhibit much more self-control than is usual for a Mars-Pluto native (it comes easier to them). So, their timing of action is usually spot-on. It is just it has problems motivating itself to be assertive. When an intercepted Mars finally puts its foot down, it creates tremors. With Pluto behind it, it can be shockwaves. It's the intercepted Mars. It thinks it is putting boundaries down gradually but it does so in such a 'I don't want to offend you' way (even worse when you have the Moon in your most visible house, and Ceres on your Ascendant). And it gets very hurt and annoyed when it realises people are walking over these boundaries. And then when they cross far too far, Mars-Pluto erupts. Usually leaving devastation in its path, or at least a few very bruised egos.
But, this Mars is also trine Chiron. Which starts a much more karmic look at my chart. Which I will begin in the 'Part Two' post...
